Thankful For {This} Moment

image      Photo by Astrogrl

We’re expecting another baby; I am so excited.  This will be our fourth pregnancy in our 5 years of marriage. Isaiah is in the arms of Jesus,  but I have Chloe and John to fill my arms {and my days!}.

When we lost Isaiah, I also mourned the loss of my innocence; for each pregnancy after that I was painfully aware of all that could go ‘wrong’. Because of that knowledge, when I was expecting Chloe and John, each time I felt a cramp, a pain or the slightest twinge of anything, I wondered “am I losing the baby?” Ironically,worry can cause that funny feeling in the pit of your stomach which of course got me wondering if everything was OK with the baby. I wouldn’t say that I was stressed out or anything but I wasn’t as joyful as I could have been.

There were so many good things that came about because the Lord called Isaiah and, as the years pass, I see how He uses that painful event in my life in so many ways. The Lord has a wonderful way of opening our eyes, of using things to change us, mould us, teach us. When we lost Isaiah, my heart was shattered into a million pieces. He lovingly picked up each piece and fashioned it back together in a way that He couldn’t have otherwise and I was changed forever. A good change, I learned with time. My Lord, who controls all, isn’t  limited by my definition of right, wrong, good or bad. Though something went ‘wrong’ in my plan, it didn’t in His!

I’m very newly pregnant. We briefly thought about not sharing the news because what if something happened. But because of Isaiah,  I can celebrate {this} baby in {this} moment with complete joy. We’re rejoicing {this} day with friends, family and you because the Lord has blessed us {this} day with a baby.

He may choose to call this sweet one home to Himself today, tomorrow or 10 years from now, and I would mourn that loss. Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I’ll get to hold that little one in my arms.

Just because I have the joy of holding little ones in my arms does not mean I will watch them grow up. But I can celebrate each moment that the Lord does give me with this little one and the littles I am already blessed with.

Nothing in this life is a guarantee {except salvation}. We can mourn the loss of our innocence, lamenting the first hand knowledge of how wrong things can go {at least according to our plans}. Or we can rejoice in knowing that He has a plan even when we can’t see it and that He has given us {this} day to rejoice in.

Motherhood is such a beautiful calling. I will rejoice in {this} amazing day and these moments that the Lord has given me. I love my littles and the sweet one I carry with a fierce mother’s love, yet each day I learn {better} how to hold them loosely in my hand as I cling to the Lord tightly with the other.

I don’t know what is on the path ahead, but where He leads, I will follow. Confidently, joyously; knowing He’s in control, my Rock and Strength. Thank you, Lord!

Do you ever struggle with just celebrating {this} moment?


  1. Congrats on the miraculous blessing growing in your womb! I deeply appreciate your words, perspective, and encouragement. I forwarded your post to my sister who has had 2 miscarriages in the last 7 months and has yet to have a baby of her own to hold. Please pray for her. Be well!

  2. Your words are so true! — “My Lord, who controls all, isn’t limited by my definition of right, wrong, good or bad. Though something went ‘wrong’ in my plan, it didn’t in His!” I copied that down to save it for the next time I need to remember that truth. Thanks so much for sharing.

    Bless you today!

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