A Gift for Myself: Asking for Help!

      Photo by LiminalMike

“I kin do it mysef!” As the mother of two tots, I hear that a lot. Many times, it is then followed by an excited, “Mom, I did do it all by myself!” which makes me so proud. But more often than not, when it comes to my little 2 year old, that proclamation of his ability to do it ‘on his own’ is then followed by some painful moments of struggling because clearly he can not do it himself. I am standing by, impatiently waiting for him to acknowledge that and accept help.

Yet, how often do I do the very same thing?!? I am one of those people who women who want to do it all – all things, all the time, all by myself. I know there are more of us out there; guaranteed I am not the only one. This is a good thing; I am ambitious, hardworking with good intentions. It’s also a bad thing because no one can do it all, all the time, all by themselves.

I don’t do it all. Not by a long shot. I do not do all the things I want to or even all the things I think I “should” do. But I do do all the things I can and I strive to do them to the best of my ability. But lately I’ve been having trouble keeping up with the basics. This is humbling and frustrating for me.

It’s important to recognize that at times we all need help. Why is it so hard to admit that we need help and why is it so hard to ask? When did we {me!} get the idea that we had to do it on our own? That we were failures if we didn’t?

I gave myself a gift today. Actually, make that two gifts. I extended myself a whole helping of grace. I told myself that it’s OK that my house isn’t what it should be or what it usually is. And I truly meant it. I’m pregnant, battling fatigue and living in survival mode. My husband and littles are loved on, bathed, clothed, and fed each day. That’s what matters right now.

Then, I asked for help. They came in the door this morning with their tools in hand and tackled my home while I took the littles out for breakfast and then to my moms for a visit. That’s right, I hired cleaning ladies and let me tell you, they did a phenomenal job. The windows sparkle as does the floor. The shower glistens, the dust is history and there are no little fingerprints anywhere to be seen.

Yes, this may seem like a splurge to some but for me, it was money well spent. This treat to myself was far better than a trip to the spa, new clothing, or even chocolate…well, that last one is up in the air but I will happily forgo extra luxuries this month, content with my clean {for now} home.

I know tomorrow the little fingerprints and dust bunnies will slowly make their appearance again but I’m feeling better and hope to keep on top of {some of} it.

Two questions today:

Do you have trouble asking for help when you need it? And have you “treated yourself” recently?


  1. I am sooo blessed with a helpful Husband and kids who help Mommy too….but life is sooo different when you are expecting! I’m glad that you had that spluge and got some help. Hang in there!!

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