photo adapted from jessica.diamond
What is a Birthing View?
It is not a birth plan, that’s a whole other topic. It is not an experience, for that is standing on the other side looking back, though once you’ve experienced giving birth, it will no doubt change your view! When you stand on this side of it, positive pregnancy test in hand or caressing your blossoming belly, and you look ahead to Labor Day, what do you see?
The thoughts, ideas and emotions you have as you head towards that exciting day is your birthing view and it will impact your experience greatly!
When I first held that positive pregnancy test in hand (or all 3 of them!) and looked ahead to labor day, I saw myself being wheeled into the hospital backwards so they could jab my bottom with pain meds the moment I crossed the hospital threshold. I didn’t think beyond medication as soon as I could and as much of it as I could have. Childbirth = extreme pain = one very scared me!!
Weeks later, caressing my growing belly, sitting on my bed surrounded by books on childbirth and labor, suddenly I was armed with knowledge. The view ahead looked much different. I no longer felt like I would be a helpless victim of circumstance but an active participant in an amazing opportunity and I was excited. A year and a half later, after birthing my first, my birthing view changed to incorporate that positive experience as well. Looking ahead to my second labor, I saw challenge and looked forward to meeting it.
How can you have a positive view?
Acknowledge Your Fears
We all have fears, especially if we’re first time mothers who have no idea what to expect or if we’ve had (or heard) of bad experiences and are fully aware of all that can go wrong. Be honest with yourself. What are your fears? Acknowledge them and write them down, regardless of how silly or insignificant they seem. Little things can build up – write everything down.
My number one fear with Chloe was fear of pain. How would I manage? I was also scared of being one of those out-of-control in labor women who screamed and yelled horrid things at everyone around them, especially their husbands. I was also {blush} scared of soiling myself with witnesses around. I know it happens and I was horrified at the possibility.
Address Them
Knowledge is power! Now that you have a nice list acknowledging what your fears are, address them. Depending on what they are, addressing them will look different. Are they legitimate? How can you ease them? Some may be easily alleviated by talking to your family doctor, OB/GYN or midwife. Praying about them is a definite help, if you’re a believer. Brainstorming practical solutions is also good. I was scared of my water breaking on the seat of my car. For the last month of my pregnancy, I had a special square pee-pad blanket thing {no idea what the real name was!} on the seat in my car and always kept an extra set of clothes with me. It seems silly but it was a legit fear with a simple solution. Sharing your fears with your spouse or a friend is a good way to have a super brainstorming session. Get creative. Emily’s Latest wrote a post about dealing that had some great ideas in it as well about dealing with fears and frustrations. By eliminating or decreasing the fear surrounding labor and birth, it helps to be able to be able to look forward to labor day in a positive way.
Set Yourself Up for Success
I know some people like to read about every possible 1 in a million thing that could go wrong. Perhaps that works for some but if you are anxious already, it may not be helpful. I’ve found that reading and hearing positive birth stories of all kinds was helpful. Hearing stories of friendly nurses, supportive friends, positive experiences and sweet babies are all ways to set yourself up for success. Another big thing – keep an open mind. We’ll talk more about this in the Birthing Plan post but things never go exactly as planned in life…or in labor! An open mind is essential whether it’s about drugs, a c-section or simply birthing positions. During difficult periods in pregnancy (you know, the delightful fatigue, nausea, aches and pains) or the hard parts of labor, reminding yourself constantly that this is but for a season (and a short one at that!) and that at the end of all this, there is a sweet little one just waiting, is often just the encouragement you need.
Did you look forward to or dread Labor Day? If you’ve had more than one little one, did that change for you the next time around?
- Watch for more during Simply Baby
- Visit Works for Me Wednesday @ We Are THAT Family
