I Wish I’d Known: Contingent on Littles

Posted by Jennifer on May 7, 2010 – 1:59 pm

The sound of a wish by ilmungo.

Photo by ilmungo 

Unable to Meet My Commitment

Today is Track & Field for Christian Schools and homeschoolers in the area. It is hosted by my church each year. I am supposed to be helping today; running tot and nursery for the T&F workers little ones. Instead, I am at home with two sick little ones of my own battling guilt, failure and mountains of laundry.

John woke up vomiting on Monday with bad diarrhea the rest of the week. I planned to leave him with mom today and just take Chloe with me. Last night at midnight, Chloe woke up vomiting too.

This morning at 6:45 am, I called Pastor Walsh to tell him, I would not be there. Praise the Lord, he understands and it wasn’t a problem.

My Plans are Contingent

Amy at The Finer Things has been doing a series on Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me and I want to add to the list. I don’t know if anyone has covered this yet but it is something I battle with all the time.

I knew that many things would change when I had little ones but I don’t think I fully understood that {at least for a season} everything I do and every plan I make is contingent upon what my little ones are doing.

And most of the time, I’m OK with that.

I know I can’t just sit down and read a book or write a post whenever I want. I need to plan those kinds of activities for when the little ones are napping or in bed for the night.

When a friend invites me out, I know that I need to either take the little ones with me {taking their schedule into consideration}, or make sure to schedule the outing at a time that DH {or mom} will be available.

And when I make commitments, I have to remember I have little ones and to expect the unexpected; realizing that sometimes, things are beyond my control.

Today, I realized that I couldn’t do track & field, I knew that my family was a priority and I needed to be at home. My husband reminded me that it wouldn’t even be responsible to take sick little ones out and spread it. I knew this and yet I felt that I was a failure; that I can not be counted on, that I was irresponsible, that I let people down.

Knowledge is Power

I’m sure there are many other moms {you maybe?} who feel these same things at times. We know our priority is to our family and yet, when something happens and we have to put that into practice, we feel guilty; buying into the lie that outside obligations are somehow more important than what we are doing.

In this season should we simply not involve ourselves in anything that requires a commitment? I don’t think that is it. I think maybe the key is making sure that, wherever we make the commitment, they know that our family is the priority and that the unexpected sometimes happens.

Sir Frances Bacon said that, “knowledge is power”. So more importantly, I think that we need to truly realize that our commitments are always contingent on what our little ones needs are; knowing that at times we will be unable to fulfill commitments. That is the way God designed it, as marriage and family are the very first {and most important} institutions He created! That knowledge will help us absolve ourselves and not pick up that false guilt when we are occasionally are unable meet that commitment.

 

How do you handle not meeting commitments?

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  1. 1. Rachel Said:

    I love the idea for this series! I’m going to head over right now to catch up.

  2. 2. Rachel Said:

    I hope the kids feel better!

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